Self-awareness isn’t for sale.
You can’t just go out and get it somewhere or take a class and suddenly have it.
It’s like a muscle that needs to be stretched and broken down only to be built back up again stronger than before.
Working on a church staff environment is an awkward thing. You have a little hierarchy, but not too much. A little self-awareness, but not too much. A little data-driven decision-making, but not too much. A little relational leadership, but not too much.
Self-Awareness is the only way to stay alive, walking the tightrope of relationships.
But if you want to make others feel like garbage, just throw self-awareness out the window.
Start criticizing them to other staff when they aren’t in the room.
Even though something is “their area” go ahead and go around them because you can or it’s easier.
Cut them off while they are talking.
Never invite them to lunch with the group.
Never stop by to say hello.
Don’t even go see them at all unless you have a problem with something they did or only they can fix.
If they do something that makes you angry, make sure you never allow them the chance to change. That would be stupid.
Use their coffee creamer in the fridge, never tell them about it and never replace it, even though their name is clearly written on top of the bottle.
See? Making someone feel like garbage is easy. You barely even have to try.
Or we could try the opposite and be heroes.